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Do you think about aging?Why face it now? Here's why.

Because you are reading this, you are on the forefront of a revolution. Traditional attitudes about death and dying are changing.

Look around and you’ll see the signs everywhere —in new movies (like The Bucket List which quotes our center’s research)—on TV shows—in books and in magazines. Americans--especially baby boomers--are taking a second look at ageism, at mortality, and it’s changing them and our culture forever--for the better.

The old attitudes? Americans have been obsessed with denying their aging—unlike people from many other cultures.  For decades we’ve done whatever it takes to ignore, repress, deny and hide from our aging—forcing this inevitable reality from our consciousness.

Need proof? Want examples?

Sixty-four percent of those surveyed in the center’s ongoing study said they worry about aging at least weekly. When thoughts of aging arise, what do they do? Fifty-four percent do whatever it takes to block these thoughts—to repress them. (Read study highlights or explore the issue in the center’s new paperback from RDR Books titled, Coming to Terms with Aging.)

Avoidance is so powerful that while we plan for other life passages--for confirmations and bar mitzvahs, graduations, weddings, childbirth , retirement--when it comes to the end of life planning--we do practically nothing. Why do you think that, according to polling firm Ipsos-Reid Express, 59% of Americans have not even made a simple will?

Why do we darken our hair and spend for cosmetic surgery? Why do we send seniors to elder care institutions?  Because historically, we have run from everything that reminds us that we age.

So what? Why face aging when it's unpleasant?

The things we fear change us. And when we fear obsessively, it affects our psyche. When fears permeate a culture, in the long term they powerfully alter our educational institutions, our politics, our healthcare, and collectively--our potential for happiness. (The full impact of the fear of aging is outlined at this site and in the center’s book, Coming to Terms with Aging.)

The important thing is that we are starting to deal with our all-enveloping fear of aging and mortality. Baby boomers will lead the way---driving a change in our cultural bias against growing old—our rampant ageism.  The revolution will come with amazing benefits because when you as an individual, and we as a culture, face what is real, it transforms us. It changes how we value our time. It changes our capacity for introspection. It changes how we care for one another.

Use this site.

Learn how you can come to terms with this central life issue and how you can reduce your fear of aging and dying. Learn how fear drains your energy and diminishes your enjoyment. We know with absolute certainty, that as you begin to grapple with this issue, good changes will come. You will live less in memory (the past) and less focused in fantasy (the future) and more in the precious moment of the present.

Explore our site for fascinating information including:

- The ten most common fears people have about aging.

- The questions people frequently ask and our answers.

- Take an interactive mini-class and a quick quiz on the key aging issues.

- Learn what world authorities on death and dying have to say--including Pulitzer price winners and religious leaders.

- Enjoy our data base of their quotes.

- Read our research.

- Find helpful links to related sites.

- Learn of workshops (and, if you are a related provider, list your own workshop free of charge.)

- Discover exercises to help you come to terms with aging.

- Help us do our research by completing a five minute survey.

Welcome to the Life Awareness Center and thank you for helping us explore this vital issue.

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On the lighter side...proof positive that aging has a lighter side! Marble
The fable of a 1000 marbles.
What does a popular country and western song say about our issue?

Please help us with our research and complete our survey


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book cover

Coming to Terms with Aging.This new book offers guidance in dealing with aging issues. Live a more joyful, meaningful life by diminishing fears about aging and mortality.

 


young boyParents: Learn what to say...and what not to say to your children about death and dying.

physicianPhysicians: Read suggestions on discussing mortality issues with patients.

As you age, are you as likely to see it their way as ever?
Read the latest research.

 

Comment of the month

SOMETIMES DEATH NEEDS A HAND
by William A. Collins

When we know,
The end is near;
Why must others,
Interfere?

You can tell when columnists are aging…they write more about death. It comes from more time visiting friends in nursing homes, from reflecting on their own parents’ final days, and from absorbing the morbid significance of their latest prescription. It’s generally not a pretty scene and it causes some writers to ponder an ideal society where late-term sufferers could pull their own plug.

Actually, such a Camelot already famously exists. It’s Oregon, where a recent count toted up 292 doctor-assisted suicides under that state’s unique 10-year-old law. So far, it has comfortably withstood several referendums and court challenges, thus demonstrating the sturdy independence of Oregonians. It also demonstrates the relative paucity of Catholic and evangelical presence in its precincts. California and Washington take periodic cracks at such a law too, but the zooming Latino population down south may have doomed such efforts there.

Prospects may be sunnier on the national level. You-know-who is leaving office in January, and with luck, federal agents will no longer waste our tax money trolling for occasional doctors who may have quietly lent a pill to a dying patient. Who knows --- maybe someday we’ll get a sane national law? Well, maybe not.

Meanwhile needless suffering and indignity continue unabated. The medical community has its protocols that allow no symptom to go untreated, especially in the hospital. To do otherwise gives an opening to a decedent’s heirs and their alert lawyers. For a patient’s heartfelt desires to be honored he’d better have a comprehensive living will and a full-time, experienced healthcare proxy. Once you’re on that respirator, it takes a magic trick to get you off.

Setting out to reform this perverse system is its relentless ancient foe, Jack Kevorkian, recently released from jail. Jack’s running for Congress now. Congress is the root of the problem to be sure, but his chances seem slim. Unfortunately none of his former patients can vote. But surprisingly, repeated polling on this issue may one day be what brings about its cure. Public sentiment is now up to 48 percent in favor of allowing physician-assisted suicide, with 44 percent opposed. And 68 percent believe that there are at least some circumstances where patients should be allowed to call it quits. Of course political success will take a lot bigger proportion of votes that that. While a majority of us might vote for it now, the zealous religious minority will make sure we never get that chance. They don’t just vote, they campaign.

All of which is too bad for the bulk of Americans. Tim Russert may have hit upon a relatively painless way to go, but that’s uncommon and undesirably early. A more typical demise follows the unremitting application of costly life extending mediations and treatments, often long after the quality of life has achieved absolute zero. And this in a setting where everyone is trying to do their best.

Unfortunately doing one’s best is not always the appropriate action, especially when the patient wants to pack it in. Even in Oregon, the doc can’t help unless you’re diagnosed with less than six months to live. It’s rarely an easy road. Does the patient really mean to depart, or is he just depressed? How bad are those treatments anyway?

And so control over this particularly morbid aspect of one’s impending demise lies with the zealots and the politicians. Diligent health proxies and doctors can and do often come to reasonable patient solutions, but it’s unfortunately the ideological outsiders who more often impose so much of today’s terminal suffering. 

-- 

Columnist William A. Collins is a former state representative and a former mayor of Norwalk, Connecticut. Reprinted from minutemanmedia.org

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Life Awareness Center
 48 Westmoreland Street
 Narragansett, RI  02882
 Email: Director, The Life Awareness center.
 Copyright © 2007 [The Life Awareness Center ].
All rights reserved.
 Revised: 11/26/07

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