On the Lighter Side

On the Lighter Side



Author and Source	What they had to say:
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina	Perhaps our government know something about life after death it's not telling us! In a kindly letter from the Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman	Bet he wishes he hadn't said this: "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Heather Whitestone, the Miss Alabama contestant who was selected as Miss America in 1995	Living forever. Or, maybe not. "Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.	Indisputable medical advice. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
Mark Twain	On the wisdom of his dad: " When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years."
Golda Meir	On aging: "Old age is lke flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do."
Woody Allen	On the fear of dying: "I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens."